Love Is A Poor Man’s Menu

Last week I got wind that my friend was unwell. I called to wish her quick recovery, but also to tell her to hold on a little longer, if she was keen on dying, because if she died, chances are I would not be among the 15 people present in her burial. On the second […]

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From Kisii With… Witchcraft? 

“Why do Luhyas have to be so strange? I mean, they eat locusts, can’t have any other thing for dinner but Ugali, and the worst of all, they must marry more than one wife! What’s wrong with these people?” A friend of my friend’s girlfriend wondered loudly before sipping her whisky. She was in a […]

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Am I Homophobic?

No judgment, but we have men who are turned on by being tickled with a feather under their feet or armpits, preferably a duck’s feather. For others, it’s the sight of their women dressed like a plumber that does the trick. But of all the fetishes people harbour out here, a story about how to […]

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The Honourables

On the other side of Afueni Hospital, Anna, a bubbly short woman with an air of importance, laughed at something her customer said. Widely known as Mama Ndizi, Anna was popular for her healthy ripe bananas that screamed your name, and her infectious, cackling laughter that had a pause to it. Those interacting with her […]

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The Deal-Breaker

I know of men who claim the size of a woman’s ass is a deal-breaker for them, but the same men will salivate at a woman’s big ass only to take off once they notice one of her upper incisor teeth is too big for her to shut her mouth. Or men who say if […]

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Mama’s Boy

He had long noticed how her forehead wrinkled and mouth frothed whenever he talked about his mother, but he thought nothing of it. Or if he did, he said nothing of it. Why would he when not even once had a kangaroo court been convened to settle a feud between his wife and mother? Why […]

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9 Daughters

“Where in Nairobi do you live?” “Pardon?” “You said you are from Nairobi, right?” “Right.” “No offence but I am struggling to believe you. So if you don’t mind, can you tell me where exactly in Nairobi do you live?” “I am from Nairobi, believe me.” “Only after you tell me the name of your […]

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The Writing On The Wall

The writing was on the wall. In black and white. You couldn’t miss it even with squinted eyes, but Mariam believed in focusing on the good side of humans. So for a long time, five years to be exact, she looked past the constant beatings her boyfriend unleashed on her. They were so many, these […]

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My Husband Was The Other Guy

When she met her husband, Metrine was still mending a broken heart. Her first love, the man she met in her first year on campus and whom she dated up to two years after their graduation, was not only a drunkard but abusive. He turned her into his punching bag and because he was her […]

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Ebeneza

It’s my fault, really. I should have known with a name like Ebeneza, the services in this Barber Shop will be mediocre. I know… I know… It’s a Biblical name that shows how the business is grounded and aligned to the word of the Lord, but no serious trade names themselves Ebeneza, unless they offer […]

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